2017-03-01 @ 09:30am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
can creatures from the darkest pit
still watch me when I’m sleeping?
in the shadows when I wake
I feel I see them creeping
the deal I made with fallen shades
contained no hidden clauses
but now I hear a rustling
in every silent pauses
I thought I had outsmarted him
the planet’s darkest man
I thought I that I could find the gaps
and break his evil plan
but I’m no winner
I’m the beasts’s sinner
no more can I avoid their grasps
than I can see through time
now, though I can still fight them off
they coat me in their slime
I thought I’d beaten the unbeaten
but victory remained unsweeten’d
from the beasts’s tainted grin
I knew, at last, I could not win
I am no winner
I’m the beasts’s sinner
Is the beast, the devil? Nice imagery. I think I would replace "this planets darkest man" with something easier to say like "the darkest of men"
The line change @reisupstudio suggests is good. However, I think over all that you have something really great here. I particularly liked the quick and to the point chorus! Brilliant!
2017-03-01 @ 09:39am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
I find my heart at altitude, in high spots where I roam
in the attic of mountains is where I find my home
there’s no eagle up above me and the clouds are at my feet
in the attic of mountains is where I feel complete
the people look like ants from here
and they act like ants as well
I can slap the thighs of jesus
as I look down on your hell
and beneath the smoke and thunder
I know you are looking skyward
seeing nothing but the sun
and the echoes of the stars
the air is thin, but I am thin
and so it fits my body
from pinnacles of frozen hills
I can feel almost godly
but if one thing spoils my mood
it’s that I distantly remember
all you creatures writhing far below
hugging the planet’s molten center
you’re out digging tunnels while I’m building ever higher
you’re getting closer to the middle while I embrace air and fire
you are mining in your element while I soar in mine
you are soil and potatoes, I am whisky mixed with wine
I've never written a lyric from a titular title, they always seem quite off the wall, but you have done a great job with this one! Not sure about your structure~ could be V C1 C2 V or C V V B. Anyway the last 4 lines show an interesting contrast between above and below. This would be very nice set to music.
"in the attic of mountains" is a great titular phrase! I love that idea. Slapping the thighs of Jesus sounds a bit disrespectful, but as long as you are both consenting. I like all the grandiose language and larger-than-life imagery in this song--"the echoes of the stars," the air that fits your body, the dirt-creatures down below.
Like @owl i too like the flowery language here! So many great phrases in this! I really like the contrasts between you up there and the people on the ground! You can see it all!
2017-03-01 @ 09:48am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
can it be you need my help?
I am possessed of skills
carpentry or wizardry,
thirteen confirmed kills
your problems interest me
like worms fascinated gods
do you doubt my abilities?
well, I like those odds.
dried grass, and a sprig of clover
well, if I bent a shoulder
this would all be over
I can be your assistant
though we live on different levels
as previously established,
I have communed with devils
but I suppose I have some time to kill
which is precisely what you need
if I understand your problems
then I can perform the deed
chalk-dust from the cliffs of dover
well, if I bent a shoulder
this would all be over
cross your heart and hope they die
a tooth for a tooth, a plucked out eye
Interesting imagery. Dark and spooky. Why not?!
Very interesting lyrics. The choruses really jump out here, but the verses are great too! The first verse is a particular pull to read.
2017-03-01 @ 10:59am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
endless rage
a magic cage
protects an unknowing world
it’s up to me
to steal the key
and see those wings unfurled
I won’t have the world
owe me favours
and I will have no beast
as my slave
but a creature
too evil to rescue
is a creature
that I want to save
a thing so fixed on destruction
that it obeys no instruction
and can only be trusted
to maim and to kill
a beast of such pure malice
that it’s freedom is a chalice
of purest poison
whence we all must swill
but I won’t have it kept
and thusly I crept
to the crypt where they held it
(from a distance I smelled it)
and so I released
this malevolent beast
farewell to the world
those wings are unfurled
Ooh, very nice! Great rhymes, nicely arranged.
This is straight out of Tolkien. I never realised what a lovely word 'malevolent' is until now. Really compelling lyric! Bravo.
2017-03-01 @ 11:14am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
at the library I skulk, await my moment
and dart between bookshelves, when unseen
to find the hidden door, betwixt fishing and folklore
where the occult lurks on microfiche machines
tearing sheets from long unused textbooks
I stuff them into envelopes and packets
by musty old lamps I affix adhesive stamps
as dust falls from abandoned dust-jackets
well some secrets they memorise
and some secrets they burn
some pages come back singed or worse…
some pages never return
and back through bookcases I stumble
pockets of my coat weighed down by paper
the librarian is quick, but with my walking stick
I can trip her from behind, and then escape her
through revolving doors I make my exit
despite my load, I remain fast and fleet
and I grin with unhinged glee as I make my delivery
to the letterbox that waits atop the street
I absolutely love this! So descriptive, and so much that I remember from when I used to do research in libraries using microfiche and studying books. Thank you for the memory :-) Do you want me to set this to music?
How very interesting. Well told story. Beautiful words! Thank you.
2017-03-01 @ 11:22am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
I tolerate these broken sensations
I put up with the madness and the fear
because I know that in the darkest moments
a little bit of lightness is found near
and so I don’t spurn the caress of the monster
when hatred comes, I do not push away
when misery is on every horizon
I let a dash of pleasure out to play
the flee in every flight
the love in every fight
the will in every might
a sadness of delights
my heart is a blackened old chestnut
but there’s still romance in every withered beat
when I’m burning with tormented fever
I know that it is just bittersweet
and so I crave the anger of the madman
I long for the sadness of the sick
when I’m grieving for a friend, I hope that it will never end
with the fervour of a possessed lunatic
the darkness in the light
the die in dynamite
the smile inside the spite
a sadness of delights
Lovely writing Toby. I especially like the chorus! If it was still February, then I'd have offered to set it to music. Great writing!
Very well-written.
Beautiful lyric. Flows naturally and there is good balance of simple language and poetry.
It's really so sad, it makes me wanna cry.
Best song ever! I love it.
2017-03-01 @ 11:32am
tags: titular needs-music lyrics-only
can we agree to disagree? there’s more at stake here
than an argument over the end of a spear
even if that point has been pushed through the joint
of your leg and left you bleeding in fear
and we don’t need a lawyer to work out the facts
when you’re the one dying, I’m holding the axe
you were the death, yes, that’s true
but I was the murder… the murder of you
as you slowly fade, I’m getting bored
yes, you’re the one falling, but onto my sword
and even if you had sharpened it (true)
then it was my thrust that severed your spinal cord
and we don’t need to discuss the end of your life
you’re the one with the problem, I’m holding the knife
you were the death, yes, that’s true
but I was the murder… the murder of you
I took a picture as you began to stagger
look - you’re the one dying, I’m holding the dagger
you were the death, yes, that’s true
but I was the murder… the murder of you
Very different. Nice structure here lyrically, and I particularly like the way that you keep bringing it back to that ending each time. Really smart.
Some very cool rhymes. I like how you pulled some thoughts into the next line, or threw in an internal rhyme. Subject's a bit dark. I keep picturing this guy with four arms. 5 if you count the one with the camera. Hope you had a great FAWM! Thanks for posting!
I love this one, great lyrics and good rhymes.
That last repetited verse is really powerful!
Well written. I can hear the story teller sigh with boredom. Great punch to your words. I really enjoyed reading this one.
Hey! A wizard!