Vintage meat, vintage meat, in the middle of the street
Vintage meat in the middle of the road
Vintage meat, what a bounty, it’s the finest in the county!
Vintage meat, what a treat, in the road.

I’ll obtain it and I’ll drain it
From the rain – it’s mostly brain!
I am grinning, gutters brimming
I will serve with all the trimmings!
Should I fry it, should I boil it?
Not too much! Don't want to spoil it
as I smother it in oil it
bears the odour of a toilet

(ukulele solo)

(chorus)

Won’t you join me in a feast?
Vintage meat, long deceased,
We’ll determine from which beast
It once came
The unorthodox source
Adds fun to every course
Is it chicken, pig or horse?
That’s the game!

(chorus)